I really need some help fast!!!!?

My first question would be...Sweetie, why are you letting this man take advantage of you? You seem to be giving up your livelihood for this person who isn't willing to truly be with you? It seems like he just likes having you in the picture because he can. You need to end it and end it for good. Take up a hobby, start doing something you love, talk to friends, loved ones. Begin to love yourself. He wouldn't keep coming back if you weren't allowing that to happen. Please cut contact with this man and get such a poisonous relationship out of your life. You don't need this type of back&forth, yo-yo crap in your love life. Find someone who can truly treat you with respect and kindness. He obviously doesn't respect you and is only using you. Cut him out cold turkey(no contact,no calls, nothing!) and find some happiness in your life, WITHOUT HIM. If I were you, I would re-read your comments about him in your question. I see alot of negativity there, don't you? We all have just one life. Don't waste it with such a dysfunctional relationship(you seem to give alot, what does he give you?). Good luck in whatever you do.